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 The Unmentionables

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Kenji
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PostSubject: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:29 pm

okay yeah, sue me for trying. I just felt like if we were going to have Uchihas, they kind of felt like they were missing something as they are now. but no judging until you attempt to work with me on this, I'm sure it can be made not overpowered... I mean if anyone can do it, I can. 50 is just a working number on the Mangekyō, it can and probably will be changed to a lower number.

Name - Mangekyō Sharingan - Kaleidoscope Copy Wheel Eye
Type - Doujutsu
Rank - S
Element - None
Description - An advanced form of the Sharingan. The Mangekyō Sharingan is distinguished from a normal Sharingan by its appearance, which changes the form of the tomoe seal. Unlike the Sharingan, the appearance of the Mangekyō Sharingan differs from user to user; Kakashi Hatake's and Itachi Uchiha's both resemble pinwheels, Madara Uchiha's and Izuna's look more like a detailed form of the basic three-tomoe Sharingan, and Sasuke Uchiha's looks like three intersecting ellipses. It also grants them access to other powerful techniques.
-The Mangekyō Sharingan is acquired through the death of the person closest to the Sharingan user. To expedite this occurrence, Uchiha throughout history have killed their closest friends in order to meet this criteria, though how Kakashi gained his Mangekyō Sharingan has yet to be explained. To obtain the Mangekyō Sharingan, one must feel the emotion of losing a friend or family, as merely killing them or watching them die will not activate it.
-Over time, use of the Mangekyō Sharingan's techniques deteriorates the user's eyesight to the point of blindness. Those that have awakened it are limited to 30 uses of the three Mangekyō jutsus over their entire career (which must be kept track of). With 10 uses remaining, their eyesight will go blurry after five posts during battle. At 5 uses remaining, their eyesight is permanently blurry. At 0 uses remaining, they will become blind.
-In order to learn this, you must first unlock the Three Tomoe Sharingan.

Name - Tsukuyomi - Moon Reader
Type - Genjutsu
Rank - S
Element - None
Description - Tsukuyomi requires eye contact to be performed. When executed, the jutsu traps the target in an illusion that is completely controlled by the user. For the duration of the technique (determined by the standard genjutsu formula), the user may torture the victim in whatever way desired. Its effectiveness is limited to how long it lasts on the target. At 1 post, the victim will come out of it weary but otherwise okay. At 2 posts, the victim will come out of it feeling exhausted and mentally drained, but with no great damage. At 3 posts, the victim will come out of it mentally beaten, physically exhausted, and having the worst headache of their entire life. They can still fight, but it will be very difficult. At 4 posts and beyond, the victim will come out psychologically tortured and barely able to stand, making it extremely difficult (though not impossible) to continue fighting. Weak minded individuals may even be stricken temporarily insane.
-The use of the jutsu requires a great amount of chakra and concentration. After the duration of the technique, the user's Sharingan will instantly deactivate and will not be able to activate again for another 5 posts. They will also be drained of most of their remaining stamina, causing extreme fatigue, one of their eyes to bleed, and a loss of 1 of their 30 Mangekyō uses.
-Note that this version does not distort the victim's perception of time, as Itachi's did. Just, because, you know, that's pretty bleh.

Name - Amaterasu - Illuminating Heaven
Type - Ninjutsu
Rank - S
Element - Fire
Description - The jet-black flames of the Amaterasu, rumored to be the fires from hell, ignite at the focus of the user's vision. For the purpose of RP, however, there is a max range that the flames can be created, that being a very short range of about three feet. If the target is farther away, the flames will ignite in the air in front of the target and continue traveling like a normal fire jutsu, in the form of a billowing wave of flames. These flames can be temporarily guided at will for two posts. This version, while very difficult to avoid, is not nigh inescapable as the original.
-The flames are exceptionally hot (not as hot as the sun, because that's OP and would likely melt the very earth around it...), capable of burning through anything in their path. The only thing that the flames have seemingly failed to burn into is Gaara's chakra infused sand. However, the flames burn slowly, allowing anyone struck by Amaterasu an opportunity to remove whatever clothing or body parts have been caught ablaze (It takes about five posts before the flames will start to spread to another part of the body).
-Also, unlike the original Amaterasu, these flames can be put out by completely soaking the affected area in water. Extinguishing the flames or removing clothing caught ablaze this will save whatever part of the victim is affected, though will result in varying degrees of crippling effects as a result (for example, losing the use of a limb for the remainder of a fight, or temporary blindness if struck in the face), due to the severity of the burns and excruciating pain.
-After casting this jutsu, the user's Sharingan will instantly deactivate and will not be able to activate again for another 5 posts. They will also be drained of all but the smallest reserves of their remaining stamina, causing extreme fatigue, the ability to only be able to perform C-rank jutsus and below for the remainder of the fight, one of their eyes to bleed, and a loss of 1 of their 30 Mangekyō uses.

Name - Susanoo - Tempestuous God of Valour (Incomplete)
Type - Ninjutsu
Rank - S
Element - None
Description - Susanoo is the third ability granted by the Mangekyō Sharingan, after the ability in both eyes have been awakened. It creates a gigantic, spiritual humanoid being that surrounds and protects the user. Susanoo is formed through the materialization of the user's chakra and as such it may differ in appearance and colour between users.
-This is Susanoo's incomplete form. The user can create a Susanoo chakra skeleton that will surround them and provide an exceptional defense against most techniques. However, obscenely powerful blows can damage the skeleton and, in come cases, penetrate the defense. In terms of offense, the skeleton is limited to sweeping, punching, smashing, etc. with its arms.
-This form can last for a maximum of five posts. During this duration, the user may not perform any other jutsus.
-After the Incomplete Susanoo ends, the user's Sharingan will instantly deactivate and will not be able to activate again for another 5 posts. They will also be drained of a large amount of their remaining stamina, causing extreme fatigue and a loss of 1 of their 30 Mangekyō uses.
-The user must first learn Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu before learning Susanoo.

Name - Susanoo - Tempestuous God of Valour (Complete)
Type - Ninjutsu
Rank - S
Element - None
Description - Susanoo is the third ability granted by the Mangekyō Sharingan, after the ability in both eyes have been awakened. It creates a gigantic, spiritual humanoid being that surrounds and protects the user. Susanoo is formed through the materialization of the user's chakra and as such it may differ in appearance and colour between users.
-This is Susanoo's complete form. The user can create a a full sized chakra humanoid/demonoid (depending on the user's personal values, the Susanoo may take a full humanoid appearance, like Itachi's, or appear more demonic, like Sasuke's) that will surround them and provide a near impenetrable defense against most techniques. In terms of offense, Susanoo comes equipped with your choice of: sword and shield, crossbow and chakra arrows (capable of firing three at at time), or fire breathing.
-This form can last for a maximum of ten posts. During this duration, the user may not perform any other jutsus.
-After the Complete Susanoo ends, the user's Sharingan will instantly deactivate and will not be able to activate again for the remainder of the battle. They will also be drained of all their remaining stamina, causing extreme fatigue, the inability to perform anymore techniques until they recover, both eyes to bleed, and a loss of 2 of their 30 Mangekyō uses.
-The user must first learn the Incomplete Susanoo before learning the Complete Susanoo


Last edited by Kenji on Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:06 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Tret16
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:54 pm

Alright, for this to go right, i think you also need to make EMS. Which means family members are killed and you transplant them you get EMS. Also you might want to indicate that the people need to describe what there Mangekyou looks like.

Tsukiyomi: I dont really have a problem with this one, it's pretty run down for it to not be over powered, but i kinda like the effects of it distorting time, so maybe have a ratio perhaps? something like maybe it distorts time in a way that 1 post give the user a few hours worth of action. or perhaps several different torture methods to use in there post...

Amaterasu: I don't like that this technique takes away the ability to use you sharingan for the rest of the battle... Perhaps 5 post just like Tsukiyomi, since it's basically the other eye that activates it, something like a partner or rival to Tsukiyomi. Also i don't like that you can put it out with dirt, it's suppost to be inextinguishable. water i can understand if you want it to be not overpowered. So take that out.

Susano'o: Your susano'o seem good...

Alright so overall, yes i do agree with you, 50 seems a little high, i would go with more around the lines of 30, sasuke didn't seem to use it that much before he was feeling the effects of it...
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:10 pm

why would you need the EMS too? that's just a Mangekyō without a weakness. Besides there aren't exactly a bunch of Uchihas with Mangekyōs floating around to just nab one and transplant them...

also, read closer, Amaterasu is a 5 post cooldown on the Sharingan like Tsukuyomi. and I don't know, I just didn't want them to literally be inextinguishable, because then they're overpowered... and even if you do put them out, whatever part of your body that was aflame is still left scorched and useless for that fight. they just won't spread to the rest of your body. meh.
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:21 pm

hhhmmm, i could have sworn that it said something differetn, i believe i even double checked... i think my mind is playing tricks on me... and i don't know, smothering it in dirt a lot of times doesn't work in real life if it a chemical type burn and these flames are supposed to be even harder to extinguish then that... the water i can understand but not the dirt. and what do you say to it being 30 instead of 50?
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:28 pm

well it's not smothering out the burns, just the fire. go throw a bunch of dirt on a campfire, the flames will extinguish. The burns will still be there though, as will the pain and the damage. The only thing the dirt/water/removal of affected clothing is stopping is the flames spreading to other parts of your body, the damage has already been done.

30's fine
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:48 pm

well everything else is fine, but i'm gunna stick with my answer on the dirt thing... so everything is approved except that, unless another mod say's approved to it... lol
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:55 pm

ironic how it's not approved until it's made stronger

took it out anyway
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:24 pm

Heck yes. Uchihas really did seem kind of lackluster without this.
And EMS would be kind of nice, maybe in exchange for getting it the jutsus become slightly weaker? Just for those of us who would prefer weak coolstuff compared to awesomestuff that's really just Too Awesome To Use.
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:35 pm

approved, and EMS is basically a good way to have more rping oppertunities... and you can't just use anyones eyes to transplant into your own, it needs to be a family member. so not very many are goin to be able to obtain them. especially ones that have already made characters, there are only five that can be made and if i'm not mistaken, they have all already been made right?
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:37 pm

it needs to be another Uchiha clan member, not just any family member. and the Uchiha clan is very thin now, there aren't just a whole bunch with eyes ripe for the picking floating around here.
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:39 pm

Satori, Sonya, Rin, Kiana. I think I'm missing someone.
And we could tweak the specifics a bit, no?
Worst comes to worst, EMS can just be like "When you get MS, you can choose between eternal, which sucks more but lasts forever, or vanilla, which is awesome but you get blind"
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:44 pm

lol, if they are family then they are uchiha, and the family member can be an NPC character. but it has to be stated in there profile that they have a living family member and you need to write the same amount of training words for that NPC character in order for them to get MS and then get killed and have there eyes transplanted... if your goin to give MS, then why not go the whole way and do EMS as well...
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PostSubject: Re: The Unmentionables   Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:49 pm

because then it doesn't have a weakness....

no EMS

and to further my point: